Simply Smart Tips

Friendly Firing: Letting Your Freelancer Go the Nice Way

2011-08-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

By Tamara Rice, 22 August 201

While some may argue that there is no nice way to say an early goodbye to a contract employee, we would argue that some goodbyes are certainly better than others. In fact, there is a way of doing things that can lead to a better work experience (though no longer shared) for both parties, if handled with care.

So, if you’re feeling the need to free your freelancer, here are some tips to help you keep that goodbye as clean and friendly as possible:

Have a Personal Touch.

Break the news in conversation, not by email. This means either face-to-face via Skyping or picking up your phone. Your freelancer deserves the courtesy of a live person giving them the bad news, if at all possible. And set up a specific time to talk (“I need to speak with you, when can you be available?”), so that the freelancer is not caught off guard in the middle of his childcare carpool.

Be Brief.

When giving the reason for your unexpected parting, don’t get bogged down in details. You are not obligated to teach the freelancer any career-altering lessons (the firing will be enough). State the facts as simply and politely as you can. For example if the work was always late, explain that your deadlines were suffering and it’s time to move on. Focus on your needs, not their shortcomings — there is a subtle difference.

Offer Notice When Appropriate.

If you feel comfortable allowing the freelancer to finish whatever projects he is on or allowing him to continue another week of work, you will be doing the person a huge favor by not instantly cutting off his paycheck. However, there will be times when this sort of kindness is a bad idea — hopefully you’ll know these cases when you see them.

Offer Severance Pay When Appropriate.

In cases where you can’t allow the freelancer to continue a minute longer, sending her off with a day’s wages (or a week’s) is a nice gesture, but severance pay is a rare courtesy for freelancers, not a legal requirement. (Unless of course you have a contract that stipulates otherwise.) Consider how long the freelancer has worked for you and how much of their workload you’ve been supplying. If you’ve been her only client for over a year, you should consider the kindness of severance pay, provided you can afford it. (And by all means, get it to her as quickly as possible.)

Be Gracious.

If there is anything you can thank your soon-to-be former employee for, by all means, say thank you now. Say it again later in writing.

Sometimes when it comes to saying goodbye, less is more. Write down a very concise speech including all of the above elements and practice what you will say with a coworker or friend. Letting someone go is rarely easy, but hopefully doing this hard thing will lead to a better future for your company and eventually for the freelancer as well.

Tamara Rice is one of several freelance writers on the oDesk Blog team. She joined the oDesk marketplace in 2009, after more than six years on staff at an award-winning national magazine.

Items Everyone Should Keep on Their Desk at Work

2010-11-10T19:28:00.000-08:00

by Andrew G. Rosen, On Tuesday 9 November 2010

You can tell a lot about a person by what they keep on their desk. From family photos to religious regalia, a few small trinkets tell our co-workers about our personality. They also have the potential to serve a greater purpose: making the office a better place to work. Here are a few practical items to consider putting on your desk:

Plants. You don't need a green thumb or an abundance of light to keep a small plant on your desk. Nature's filter will improve the office air quality and help keep you alert. Plus, studies show plants can enhance worker productivity.
The large seed in the center of a papaya can be turned into the perfect office plant. If you're botany-challenged, consider a spider plant, which are easy to grow.

Aromatherapy. One of the easiest holistic treatments is aromatherapy, the simple act of smelling essential oils for healing.
To keep yourself in a positive frame of mind, consider adding an odor or two to your desk. This can be in the form of an unlit candle, potpourri, or even a tea bag. Fight boredom with cinnamon, reduce anxiety with lavender or stimulate the brain with basil. Find the aromatherapy scent that's right for you.

Change cup. Give a nickel or take a nickel. Having change on hand is always useful, especially if your office has vending machines. Use the money for a late-afternoon sugar boost. You can also brighten a co-worker's day by sharing the coins. Or, better yet, save that loose change to invest in your career. You'll be surprised at how much change you can save over the course of a year.

A picture that reminds you why you work. Are you saving for your child's college education? For a trip to Bermuda? For that new sports coupe? Or maybe you're looking to pay the mortgage. Whatever motivates you to earn money deserves a place on your desk. If you're working so you can live in a house, hang a photo of the place in that home that gives you the greatest pleasure.
We all work for the money, but sometimes we forget what money is for.

Breathing Reminder. Ever find yourself tense or breathing shallowly? Conscious breathing is a wonderful tool to alleviate stress. Place a symbol in your field of vision at work that serves as a reminder to take long, deep breaths whenever possible. Better breathing is a step toward happiness.

Mints. A bowl of mints is a good way to encourage co-workers to stop by your desk (if you want them there). Part social catalyst, part public service--when you and your co-workers' breath is fresh, everyone wins!

Color. Offices have come a long way, but the majority of workers still toil away amongst grayish walls and fluorescent lights. Having certain colors within view can trigger feelings that make work more tolerable. Stay healthy by looking at yellow, calm by staring at green (like your new plant) and optimistic with orange.
You can pick up most of these workplace-improvement items on the cheap at the dollar store. You spend a lot of time at your desk. Use it to your advantage.

Andrew G. Rosen is the founder and editor of Jobacle.com, a career advice blog. He is also the author of How to Quit Your Job.

7 Toxic Attitudes That Can Harm Your Career

2010-10-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

By Michael S. Wade, On Friday 10 September 2010, US News

There are certain attitudes that you will not find among successful employees. These attitudes resemble illnesses and if left unchecked, can destroy careers. Here are some of the most common:

1. "If they promote me, I'll show them how capable I am." This person has the process exactly reversed. Capability needs to be demonstrated in order to secure the promotion. This means doing far more than the basics of the job. It requires extraordinary performance and loads of initiative.

2. "I won't turn down any requests because I want to have a reputation as a can-do person." This is more controversial. I know of some consultants who recommend this approach. Unfortunately, there are some projects that will consume too much time and will seriously inhibit the successful performance of other, more important projects. A person who overpromises and then underperforms is unlikely to succeed. The successful person knows his or her limitations and carefully explains the choice of priorities. You succeed both by the projects you take on and the ones you avoid.

3. "I'm going to stick with this until I make it a success." Persistence is admirable, but it can become foolish. The persistent person needs to learn when to drop projects that have become a drain of resources and time.

4. "I'm a turn-around artist." That may be the case and there's no doubt that such skills can be sorely needed. Turn-around artists should recognize, however, that they have short shelf lives. Eventually, management will want to put this wizard into another hot spot. If the turn-around artist wants to stay put, new skills will have to be acquired and new expectations negotiated.

5. "I don't need people skills. I'm in a technical position." If the lack of people skills is not noticeable, the techie may be safe. If it becomes an issue, a very harsh lesson may be coming.

6. "I'm a perfectionist." That's all well and good, but the perfectionist had better be able to meet deadlines. As Ronald Reagan quipped about his B-movie career, "They didn't want it good. They wanted it Thursday."

7. "I don't have time to schmooze." Finding some would be wise. Isolation from others keeps out important information and reduces influence. It can be amazing how much can be accomplished today because time was taken for a cup of coffee with another manager six months ago.

Michael Wade writes Execupundit.com, an eclectic combination of management advice, observations, and links. A partner with the Phoenix firm of Sanders Wade Rodarte Consulting Inc., he has advised private and public-sector organizations for more than 30 years.

5 Fast Fixes for a Stronger Relationship

2010-05-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

By Liz Brody (May 14, 2010)

If I hear, "make a date night," one more time, from one more relationship expert, I'm going to throw the aphrodisiac in her face.

I don't want to make a date night. I don't want to ride the Class IV rapids or jump out of a plane to get the dopamine flowing. I don't want to dangle from a chandelier. These are fine suggestions to beat a passion plateau. But they take t-i-m-e (not to mention acrobatic skills), which some of us don't exactly have.

"Oh boy," my mate says when I ask him for ideas on the phone. (Maybe it was a bad idea to make him change my ring tone to Car Alarm) “that’s a minefield right there.”

My girlfriend offers, “I'm sure my husband would say sex—more than, you know, a few times a year. But that's asking a lot. I'm very busy.”

I did, however, find some great, quick ideas for women on the run:

IF YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS…. Hit pause. This will come in handy the next time he’s really bugging you. Say, when he’s dawdling, making you late again to visit your mother. Before one righteous word flies out of your mouth, FREEZE. Just watch him for 10 seconds. Visualize yourself in his shoes. Visualize him as he looked the first time you fell for him. Pause the action. (In email terms, it’s a kind of a Save As Draft so you don’t actually send the inflammatory message). Ten seconds gives you time to flash on, “Oh, he’s very uncomfortable with my family,” or “Hmmm, he’s been whipped at work and needs to be in control of something (pathetic as his choice may be.)” It might occur to you that “a few minutes late” isn’t worth a fight. Then again, you might conclude that, yes, he is a total jerk. At least you tried.

IF YOU HAVE A MINUTE… This is from a great article in the current Scientific American Mind by Robert Epstein (do it with your guy): Embrace each other gently and gradually synchronize your breathing with his. Just stand there inhaling and exhaling together, as if you were one being. A minute or two of this, apparently, lowers your inhibitions—and that can help people bond.

IF YOU HAVE 2 MINUTES… Jot down three things he’s done lately that you appreciate (OK, one?). Send the list as a note to him in an email at work. Or slip it under his coffee mug in the morning. Or just casually mention, “You know, I dug the way you handled that surly waiter the other day.” Yeah, it’s a tad corny, but experts say it really works. Certainly, if there’s one thing the research on happy long-term couples shows, it’s that they figure out how to accentuate the positive. “When you say or list what you appreciate in him, it brings those things more to the forefront of the mind,” says Gail Saltz, MD, Today Show commentator and author of The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life. “It also prompts him to say what he really appreciates about you.”

IF YOU HAVE 3 MINUTES… Here’s another good one from Epstein: Standing or sitting fairly close to your partner, start moving your hands, arms, and legs any way you like—but in a fashion that perfectly mimics his. “This is fun but also challenging,” Epstein writes. “You will both feel as if you are moving voluntarily, but your actions are also linked to those of your partner.” See if this doesn’t activate your empathy circuits.

IF YOU’VE GOT 5 MINUTES… Try a daily forgiveness ritual, suggests Sharon Salzberg, a revered spiritual teacher and cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. It's like a little shot of immunity to prevent you from fighting. Find a quiet spot to sit, and let these phrases go through your mind: If I have hurt or harmed you, knowing or unknowingly, I ask your forgiveness. If you have hurt or harmed me, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive you. “You’re not saying, ‘It's all right that you did that,’" Salzberg explains. You’re just opening up your mind to ideas like, "I let go of seeing you solely as the perpetrator; I understand the conditions that led to that action,” and, “I am not identifying myself only as the person who was hurt; I’m bigger than that.” You may even realize, “I have to let go of unrelieved anger to have any space for love to grow.” See if 5 minutes a day doesn’t warm up the love dynamic. For a real intimacy boost? Get him to do it too.

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5 Signs He Isn't Over His Ex

2010-04-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

How to tell if a guy is still hanging onto his old relationship – and what you can do to help him move on.

Do you ever get the feeling that there are three people in your relationship – you, your guy and his ex? Does he still talk or email with her often? Or maybe he holds an unhealthy grudge, or seems preoccupied with what she’s doing now? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it may mean that he hasn’t completely let go yet. How can you tell if he’s not really over his ex? Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage offers five warning signs:
1. He wasted no time before jumping into his next relationship. If you started dating this guy shortly after his latest breakup, there’s a good chance he’s not completely over his ex – no matter what he says. “There are hopes and dreams we have when we get into a relationship that we lose when we lose that relationship,” says Tessina. “It takes some time [to get over those things].” She points out that men often avoid the grieving process that follows a breakup, even though it can be instrumental in helping them assess the relationship and move on. “You want to be sure he can talk about it – that he can analyze it a little bit, and can say what went wrong and what went right and what part he played in what went wrong.” But even if he isn’t quite there, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. As Tessina explains, “It just means you need to understand that he still has some processing to do, and he’s probably going to do some of it with you.”
2. He fell for you before his relationship ended. These are men like John Edwards and Tiger Woods, who tell you their previous relationships are over or broken, but they still go home to their wives or girlfriends. It sounds obvious, but these guys are bad news. “It doesn’t matter if he says the relationship is bad,” Tessina says. “He has a cheating mentality.” And if he cheats on her, he probably wouldn’t have a problem with cheating on you. Even if he does eventually leave his wife or girlfriend – a very big if, by the way -- and you’re willing to give it a go with this guy, he literally hasn’t had any time on his own to process the demise of that previous relationship so you could run into the same problems as in #1, above. Bottom line: This is probablynot someone you want to be with.
3. When it comes to his ex, he only deals in extremes. If your new guy can’t say his ex’s name without spitting, this is another warning sign. “If he’s talking about her constantly, and she’s either the most wonderful thing in the world or the most terrible thing in the world, but it’s unrealistic, you need to ask him about his role in the relationship,” says Tessina. There are two people in every couple, and there’s no way his ex was as great or awful as he makes her sound. “If he’s not talking about it at all, you need to say ‘I think it’s valuable to for us to talk about our past relationships so we can see what went wrong and what we need to do differently in this relationship.’”
4. He can’t break the string. There are plenty of reasons a guy may stay in touch with his ex, and they aren’t necessarily all bad. “If they have kids in common, they have to be in contact,” Tessina says. “If they were together for a long, long time, there’s also some reason for contact.” But if neither situation applies, and he still won’t stop talking to his ex, you should initiate a conversation about her – carefully. “What you don’t want to do is set yourself up against his ex,” says Tessina. Here, too, she recommends talking to him about his relationship with his ex, and what he thinks he can do better or differently in your relationship. She also suggests offering to reach out to the ex yourself, but if he’s not up for that – and if he doesn’t seem compelled to change anything about the current situation, even if it’s making you uncomfortable – that’s a major red flag. “I would slow the relationship down immediately [in those circumstances],” she says. “I’d say, ‘I can’t go further if you’re going to have a relationship with somebody that has to be behind my back.’”

5. He obsesses over the remnants of the relationship. If he’s always checking her Facebook profile or you catch him poring over old pictures, you could also have a problem. “He’s not finished, he hasn’t done his grieving,” says Tessina. “You have to understand that if you stay in a relationship with him, you’re going to be part of that grieving process.” As Tessina points out, when you’re in a relationship you talk about just about everything. Whether it’s work, friends or family, there’s always something to discuss over dinner, and past relationships should be no different. Let him know you’re open to talking about his exes. Discussing this relationship could help him work through his feelings and move forward – and may even bring the two of you closer together.
If your guy hasn’t completely let go of his ex, proceed with caution – but know that your relationship isn’t necessarily a lost cause. He may want to be with you, but needs just a bit more time to deal with his breakup. The key to making it work is both of you being willing to talk openly about his old relationship and his feelings about his ex. And if, when all is said and done, he just can't let go, you may have to be the one who moves on.
Kathryn H. Cusimano is an assistant editor at BettyConfidential.

Ten Tips for Learning English as a Second Language

2010-04-13T09:50:00.000-07:00

1. Wanting to learn.

This may seem obvious, but if you’re not really committed to learn a new language, no class and no book in the world will be able to help you. You have to really want to learn the language otherwise it’s just too difficult. Just be honest with yourself, think about the reasons you want to study English and find your motivation.

2. Identifying your motivation.

After you find your motivation, you need to identify it. Ask yourself “Why do I want to improve my English”? Is it to find a new/better job? To be promoted in your current job? Is it to travel around the world? To go to University? Considering living abroad? Make new friends? Watching a movie without the need for subtitles? There are many reasons to learn English and each person is different. If you think about your motivation and think how improving your English will help you to achieve your goals, it will be easier to stick to the task.

3. Setting your goals.

Once you have identified your motivation, you need to set up your goals to learn English. Those goals will help you to understand which areas you want to work on, see your progress and maintain your motivation.
It’s important to visualize your main goal, but it’s also important to set up small goals along the way that will motivate and encourage you to keep going. Learning a new language is a process.

4. Practice makes perfect.

After you have set your goals, you know what you’ll need to practice. Now you need to focus on what needs to be done in order to achieve those goals and do it the correct way. You should understand yourself and how you learn better. For example, do you learn better by reading, doing, seeing or listening? Set time aside for study so you don’t have any excuses not to do it. Make sure to practice areas such as basic grammar, pronunciation and other aspects of the English language.

You should practice at least 5 days a week in order to see any progress. We say “Practice makes perfect, but only if it is the perfect practice”. This means not only practice the right way but having consistency. The more you practice, the better you become at it. For example, at SGI you can practice with other students as well.

5. Expose yourself to English as much as possible.

The more you surround yourself with English the more you get used to it and the easier it will be to learn the language. Read books or magazines in English, listen to the radio in English (Windows Media Player has hundreds of radio stations in English), watch TV or movies without lyrics, speak to native English speakers. You will start to recognise sounds, words and phrases and it will become more familiar. Soon you’ll start thinking in English as well! Constructing the sentence in English in your head first is a good way to make fewer mistakes.

6. Increasing your vocabulary.

Reading is an excellent way of increasing your vocabulary. You don’t need to read the Oxford dictionary from the beginning until the end, but consider reading everything you possibly can in English. You’ll learn new words.

Note: If you are a beginner, you may want to start off with a bilingual dictionary but once you are past the beginner stage of learning English as a second language, give it to a friend who is a beginner and get yourself a dictionary that is English-English.

7. Having fun.

Why not? Learning a new language can be a fun thing to do. And the more you enjoy it, the easier it will be. Read comic books, play a game with a friend who is also learning English as a second language. At SGI for example, we have lots of fun social activities like boat trips, visits to museums, quizzes, etc, where we have lots of fun while also helping our students to improve their English.

8. Cultivate friendships with native English speakers.

At SGI there are lots of opportunities to make friendships with other English students, but you can also do it in many other ways. The Internet for example is a wonderful way of meeting people that, like you, are learning English as a second language. Search for learning English groups and communities and find a learning buddy. You can also join the SGI Facebook group: http://en-gb.facebook.com/people/St-George/752643014

9. Finding a good teacher.

Using a qualified teacher that understands English is a step in the right direction. A teacher can set you goals and timelines for learning.

10. Acknowledge the progress you've made.

If you follow these tips, your English will definitely improve. Remember, be patient….progress comes slowly but surely. Stopping at key stages and acknowledging your improvement is important to keep you motivated and also to celebrate your accomplishment. Sooner or later you will reach your goal!

Learning a new language is a skill that needs constant use. After you learn English and finish your course, you’ll need to continue to practice it otherwise you might lose it. Another language helps you understand the world, different cultures and different perceptions of life.

SOURCE: St. George International (SGI).

5 Ways To Make More Space In Your House

2008-07-31T05:49:00.000-07:00

by Marie Claire

Living in a small apartment or house can be challenging when it comes to transforming it into a functional and practical living space. Here’s a quick guide to help you maximize what little space you do have.

1. Think vertically.
You probably don’t have too much floor space, so utilize your wall space. Choose tall, slim bookshelves and hang paintings high on the wall to draw the eye upward. Jamie Novak, a professional organizer and author of 1,000 Best Quick and Easy Organizing Secrets, suggests using the perimeter of the room: “Install shelves eighteen inches below the ceiling on all or some of the walls.” She also suggests hanging items like pots and pans from the ceiling.

2. Choose one large piece of furniture for every room.
In the bedroom, this piece of furniture would be the bed. In the living room, it would be the sofa; in the kitchen, the table, etc. Too much furniture makes rooms look cramped. Often, a second sofa or futon can be replaced with a stylish arrangement of small, space-saving chairs. Also, be reasonable: Don’t try to fit a full-size sofa or a queen-size bed into tiny rooms. Always measure the space you have before you try to fit something in.

3. Don’t acquire too much stuff.
For some, this is quite a challenge. When your home is outfitted in all the necessities, steer clear of buying more furniture, or anything else, for that matter, without getting rid of something. Novak says that a common mistake she sees in terms of streamlining is an inability to overcome separation anxiety. “Whether it is last year’s tote bag or your favorite stuffed toy from childhood, it can be hard to let go,“ she says. “Take a photo and let the item go or you’ll run out of space.”

4. Make good use of the space you do have.
When you’re working with a very small amount of space, every square inch counts. Buy rolling bins for under-the-bed storage of linens, seasonal clothes, shoes, etc. Make the most out of your closet by adding hooks, shelves, and/or plastic storage bins. Your bookcases are not just for books anymore—add storage for remotes, photos and more by fitting your bookcases with baskets and tins. Novak recommends placing a baker’s rack in the entranceway to serve as a catch-all for keys, hats, mail and more.

5. Adhere to simplicity of design.
The Scandinavians have the right idea: clean lines, classic colors and patterns, and practical design all contribute to a more comfortable small-space dwelling. Use minimal drapery (instead, plain Roman blinds are adequate window dressing) and simple patterns (if you have a crazy floral motif on your sofa, a pretty slipcover serves as an economical choice to alter the look). Stick with one color scheme throughout the apartment to avoid rooms looking disconnected.

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Seven Powerful Steps to Increase Self-Confidence

2008-04-04T02:05:00.000-07:00

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

We come into this world with total self-confidence/ self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/ self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/ self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence or self-esteem has been compromised. Thus, as an adult those who have experience any form of deprivation, they need to re-establish what is their birth-right: self-confidence / self-esteem.

1.) Ask yourself, "What would be the worst outcome?" We tend to place excess importance on potential problems—a.k. a.—Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.

2.) Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice. That negative internal critical voice can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the internal voice to the Disney Channel. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck seriously if they were criticizing you? The point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you. If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. If you hear a funny voice, you laugh and maybe hear the irony of your negative internal critic and continue onward.

3.) When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it. Close your eyes, then, vividly imagine you succeeding at what you are planning to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.

4.) Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.

5.) Act "As-if." Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, "How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself—self- talk?" By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you are confident. As you continue to act "As-If" you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you'll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.

6.) Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.

7.) Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured—Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.

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What Every Woman Should Know About Men and Romance

2008-03-30T16:31:00.001-07:00

By Tim Robinson

Men and women think differently about romance.

Men are goal-oriented. They measure their success by their achievement. Unconsciously, they tend to divide their relationship into two phases - courtship and 'Keepership'.

The aim of courtship is to woo the woman and win her affection. During the courtship, he is the hunter while she is the hunted. During the hunt, he can be wonderfully charming, thoughtful and sensitive. He attends to her every whim and fancy. He is sensitive to her feelings and needs. He pays great attention to every detail. He will go to great length to please her. If necessary, he will climb the highest mountain, swim the widest river, and bungee jump, just for her. He may send flowers or a loving note after a romantic date.

But once her heart is captured, the courtship is over. When the hunt is over, so is romance. When he senses the woman cares for him, he changes. His victory is assured. Having captured her heart, she is like a trophy for keeps.

Women tend to be different. They want romance to continue; they are disappointed when it ceases. Women often feel shortchanged by men when romantic behavior fades. Women complain that men take them for granted.

For most men, romance is a means to an end; to many women, romance is an end in itself. Most men don't feel discomfort with romance; they love it. Guess who read romantic novels - the women of course!

Men, on the other hand, are anxious to get over with the pursuit so that they can stop worrying, relax and enjoy the rewards of victory. While women tend to equate pursuit with love, men often equate not having to pursue with love. Having possessed her love, he can stop pursuing her.

Before marriage, men often declare their undying love with the magic words, "I love you." But after marriage, they hardly utter those words. The excuse men gave is that they have not changed their mind since they declared their undying love at the altar; and if he ever changes his mind, he would tell her. They feel they don't have to remind her that 'I love you' everyday.

What a dilemma for the women! Is there any hope for romance? Of course there are. A committed relationship need not be without romance and passion.

If a woman wants her man to be romantic, here are some things she can do.

Do not hassle him to buy you presents, bring you flowers or accompany you for shopping. Men do not like to be told what to do. If you keep nagging him, you will probably succeed in making him feel pressured and guilty, but you are not going to get him to feel more romantic. Even if he dutifully gives in and brings home a dozen roses from the florist, it will probably be mere compliance. Romance has to come from the heart, not out of obligation. The smart woman knows that compliance is an enemy of romance. Let him feel it is his ideas, not yours.

Simply allow him to enjoy being loved. Interpret his diminished need to be romantic as a compliment, as a hallmark of his trust in you. He is assured of your love. You are safely in his fold. Therefore he does not feel the need to woo you and to remind you of his love for you.

Understand the psychology of men. Do the unexpected. Reward him occasionally. Keep him in suspense. To be predictable is to be boring. Be unpredictable. Men enjoy the chase. Put him in a competition so that he will not take you for granted. Be vague. The uncertainty stimulates him, motives him to re-embark on the romantic chase; it drives him wild.

Remember, for men, romance is a goal-oriented behavior, a time when they are uncertain of a woman's feeling towards them. The key word is uncertainty. When men are uncertain, they become more romantic.

###

Smart Parking

2008-03-03T19:30:00.001-08:00

Dress Your Personality

2008-02-04T00:20:00.000-08:00

CLASSIC/ELEGANT:

Your clothes never enter the room before you do! You are known for clothes in the best fabrics, simple style, one good piece of jewellery, genuine leather accessories.

SPORTY:

Remember-casual doesn't mean sloppy.

Wear layered coordinates-always pulled together with a vest, blazer, or anorak style jacket.

Head Gear like baseball caps can give many just casual outfits that sporty feel

FREESTYLE:

Arty, funky style always with a twist. you will try the latest trend but adapt it for your figure. You love hats & look terrific in them.

SEXY:

You enjoy clothes that enhance your curves-fluid fabrics, deeper necklines, waist treatments, sensual fabrics like silk, cashmere, slinky knits, & leather.

ROMANTIC:

You love being a woman & enjoy lace touches, soft florals, & pearls.

~a repost~

Nail Care

2008-02-04T00:17:00.000-08:00

Your nails may be craving something - If your nails are weak, splitting, fragile etc, the problem could be traced back to an inadequate water intake.

Most people don't drink nearly enough water. Drink up!

What to do about brittle nails
The most common nail wreckers are harsh detergents and water, which can stress nail fibers. So be sure to put rubber gloves on while you clean or do dishes.

Also, avoid using perfume lotions that usually contain alcohol if your nails are brittle. It will only make your nails worse.

It may be possible that your calcium intake is low, as well.

How To Give Yourself A Manicure
Whether you prefer your nails to be long or short, they can still look stunning with a little know-how.

* Wash and dry your hands.
* Using a double-sided emery board, file nails using a gentle stroke. Avoid corners of your nails as this can weaken them.
* Begin to shape your nails. The most popular shape to use is oval, but choose what is most suited to your hand and finger shape.
* Check to see how well you have done. Run your nails over an old pair of pantyhose. Your nails should not snag the hose.
* Apply a softener to your cuticles. Allow to site for a minute or so.
* Transfer hands to a bowl of warm water and soak for an additional few minutes.
* Gently push back the cuticles. This should not be painful. If hangnails are present, carefully clip them.
* Apply hand lotion and begin to massage the palm of your hand with the thumb of your other hand. This will help to circulate the blood. Work your way over the remainder of the hand and then repeat giving equal time to the other hand.
* Before color is applied to nails, they must be cleaned and the easiest way to do this is with an orange stick that has been wrapped with cotton. Dip into nail polish remover and then rub over the surface of the nail. Check the nail for any creamy residue. When none remains, your nails will be ready for polishing.
* Time for color. Pick up a small amount of polish on your brush and paint one stroke down the center of your nail. Your brush should hold just enough color to accomplish this. Stroke the sides of the nail and you are done. The nail should be completely colored in three strokes. Allow to set for a minute or so before applying the second coat.
* Wait until polish is set (dry to the touch) and then apply the top coat. Don't skip this step as it not only adds life to your manicure, it will protect your nails as well.
* Sanitize all of your equipment with alcohol and when they are dry, store them away until the next manicure.

Nail Tips:

* Nail polish can be stored in the fridge.
* If your nail polish is too thick, try thinning with a polish thinner.
* To prevent the cap from sticking, coat it with a little Vaseline to prevent this from happening.

~a repost~

The new do's and don'ts of cold and flu season

2008-02-03T05:46:00.000-08:00

By Debra Alban
CNN

With cold and flu season comes time-honored traditions for relief and prevention: Feed a fever, starve a cold. Wear warm clothes. Eat chicken soup.

But just because those instructions have been around for decades doesn't necessarily mean they're effective.

CNN.com looked to health experts for the latest advice on your best bets in fighting colds and the flu.

Don't: Sneeze into your hands
Generations of parents and teachers have told children to cover their mouths and noses when they sneeze or cough. The rule still applies, but now kids are being taught to aim into their elbows or sleeves.

"With little kids especially, when they sneeze or cough into their hands, they don't always wash their hands, and then they use their hands to touch surfaces or other people," explains Dr. Priya Sampathkumar, an infectious disease specialist with the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.

It's hoped that sneezing into the elbow will prevent the further spread of germs, for young kids and adults alike.

Do: Keep your hands clean
Keeping your hands clean is crucial to avoid getting sick, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. However, colds and flu are viral, not bacterial, so antibacterial soap doesn't help fight the illnesses, says Sampathkumar. "In some ways, they can actually be harmful, because environmental bacteria could become resistant," she says.

Washing your hands successfully may take longer than you're used to; the CDC recommends rubbing your hands for 20 seconds -- about the length of time it takes to sing "Happy Birthday" twice.

One recent study found, however, that American adults -- especially men -- don't wash their hands enough after using the bathroom. Researchers for the American Society for Microbiology found that one-third of men didn't bother to wash at all after using the bathroom, while 12 percent of women didn't.

No access to soap and water? Experts say hand sanitizers also help kill germs. And an added bonus: "During winter when you wash your hands frequently, the alcohol gels can be a lot gentler on your hands," Sampathkumar says.

Don't: Overload on vitamins once you're sick
Scientific research on the effectiveness of herbal remedies and vitamin supplements has drawn conflicting conclusions.

The therapeutic value of zinc lozenges has yet to be proved, but zinc nasal gel may have a positive effect, according to a comprehensive review of zinc studies by the Stanford University School of Medicine published in the journal Clinical Infectious Diseases in September 2007.

And, after previous studies had concluded that echinacea was an ineffective cold remedy, new research has come along to muddy the waters. A study from the University of Connecticut School of Pharmacy published in the journal Lancet Infectious Diseases in September 2007 found that the herb decreased the odds of developing a cold by 58 percent and reduced the duration by about a day and a half.

Nevertheless, once your nose is already stuffed, taking vitamin supplements is probably a waste of money, Sampathkumar says.

If you do want to take a supplement to fight colds and flu before they start, Sampathkumar warns not to overdo it: "If you wanted to take a supplement, at most you need one multivitamin a day." Mega-doses of vitamins really have not been shown to help, and they can be harmful, she says.

Do: Take it easy on the treadmill
Contrary to rumors, you cannot sweat out a cold, experts say.

In fact, too much sweating can dehydrate you at a time when you need extra fluids anyway, warns Dr. Richard Deichmann, an internist at the Ochsner Medical Center in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Still, you don't need to eliminate all physical activity. "Pay attention to what your body is telling you," Sampathkumar says. "You don't want to run the 10 miles you do every day if you're not feeling up to it, but you don't necessarily have to stay in bed if you feel up to taking a walk or doing some moderate exercise."

Don't: Overdo it with cold remedies
Phenylephrine is the ingredient in nasal decongestant, which some people take to clear up a stuffy nose. But the medication won't cut short your bout with a cold or the flu, Deichmann says. Taking it orally can cause jitteriness, rapid heartbeat or sleeplessness, he adds.

On the other hand, nasal sprays can also dry up a runny nose and will probably cause fewer side effects, but Deichmann doesn't recommend using them for more than three or four days. "You get a tolerance to it, such that if you don't keep using it, you get a whole lot of secretions," he says. "It's a big problem."

As for kids, a Food and Drug Administration panel recently recommended against giving children under age 6 over-the-counter cold medicines.

Do: Eat what feels good, hot or cold
Foods' enticing smells make you want to eat them. So it's no wonder you might lose your appetite when you have a cold and your nose is stuffy.

Sampathkumar recommends the old standby -- hot soup -- to open up your nasal passages and therefore improve your appetite. But she says you don't have to stop at soup; eat other things that feel good, too.

"There's really nothing that says if you're cold you're going to get a cold. Colds are definitely caused by viruses." To that end, "if you have a child who has a cold and the only thing they feel up to eating is Popsicles ... that's perfectly fine," she says.

Don't: Smoke
Here's another reason to quit smoking: Research shows a higher incidence of flu cases in smokers compared with nonsmokers, and, worse, a higher mortality rate for smokers than nonsmokers from the flu, according to the CDC.

Smokers are predisposed to get more upper respiratory infections, Sampathkumar says. "Their nasal passages, their upper airways, are somewhat inflamed just from the smoke," she says, adding that smoking can delay healing once you're sick.

Like the 2 Sides of a Coin

2008-01-29T20:11:00.001-08:00

Love can feel like heaven,
and could hurt like hell...

It's true that to have the rose,
you must accept the thorns...

And if you have the courage to love,
you must have the courage to suffer...

Just a Thought

2008-01-29T19:52:00.001-08:00

Don't force yourself to forget the person you love and never use other people to forget him because it hurts more when the time for goodbyes come. An emotion can play its tricks on us. Who knows, it could backfire and you'll end up losing when all the way you thought you'd win.

For the girls inlove

2008-01-29T19:45:00.000-08:00

"You won’t be his first, his last, or his only. He’s loved before, he will love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He is not perfect, and neither are you; and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he makes you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and admits to being human, and making mistakes… hold on to him, and give him all you’ve got.

He is not going to quote poetry. He is not going to be thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break. Don’t hurt him. Don’t change him. Don’t expect too much from him. Smile when he makes you happy. Cry when he makes you sad… and miss him when he’s not there…"

~~quoted from a testimonial message~~

For the Men Inlove

2008-01-29T19:44:00.001-08:00

Tell her how you admire her.
Always tell her you love her at all times.
When she's upset, hold her tight.
Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
Play with her hair.
Pick her up.
Tickle her and wrestle upon her.
Just talk to her.
Tell her jokes.
Bring her flowers.
Hold her hand and run.
Just hold her hand.
Throw pebbles at her window at night.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Sing to her, no matter how awful you sound.
Get her mad at you. Then kiss her.
Give her piggy bank rides.
Push her on swings.
Tell her she looks beautiful.
When she's sad, stay on the phone with her, even if she's not saying anything.
Look into her eyes and smile.
Kiss her on her forehead.
Dance with her even if there's no music.
Kiss her in the rain.
And when you fall in love with her, tell her.

How To Stay Young -- Grow Old Gracefully

2008-01-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Positive Recommendations

A. Throw out non-essential numbers. Remember only birthdays and anniversaries.

B. Keep only cheerful friends.

C. Keep learning.

D. Enjoy the simple things.

E. Laugh often, long and loud.

F. Tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.

G. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

H. Surround yourself with kids.

I. Surround yourself with what you love.

J. Cherish your health.

K. Don't take guilt trips. Avoid places where your guilt is.

L. Tell the people you love that you love them.

M. Lastly, always remember that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breaths away.

More here...

"Every day is a great day; if you don't believe it ... try missing one!" --- Anonymous

How to Recognize Skin Cancer

2008-01-29T19:32:00.000-08:00

Do you know the early signs of skin cancer?

There are two primary categories of skin cancer: melanoma and non-melanoma. Melanoma skin cancers primarily affect pigmented types, and occur when the pigment cells that produce skin color become cancerous.

Melanoma

Consider whether you have any of the traits that predispose people to melanoma:

Freckled skin: In particular, those with fair skin and freckles are at a higher risk for melanoma. The gene that causes freckles, MC1R, also seems to play a role in melanoma formation.
Red hair: That MC1R gene? It also contributes to the development of red hair.
History of damage: If you sunburn easily, or have a history of many sunburns, pay particular attention to changes in your skin.
Family history: If anyone in your family has been diagnosed with melanoma, you are at greater risk for developing it.

The most important thing you can do is familiarize yourself with the map of your body's beauty marks and freckles - that way, you can note any changes or fast-growing moles. If you notice one of the A, B, C, or Ds of melanoma, see a dermatologist right away:

Asymmetry: Moles of an irregular shape, in which one side is not the mirror image of the other
Borders: Moles that have a fuzzy or indistinct border
Color: Moles that are more than one color, or include black, white, red, or yellow hues
Diameter: Moles that are larger than a quarter-inch (about the diameter of a pencil eraser)

Non-Melanoma

Like melanoma, non-melanoma skin cancer tends to affect fair-skinned people more than others, although in this case non-pigmented types are at greater risk than pigmented types.

There are two main types of non-melanoma skin cancer:

Basal cell carcinoma (BCC): This type of skin cancer occurs between the dermis and the epidermis. It appears as bumps that are white, shiny, and luminous like a pearl. They can appear with a raised center or like "craters," and may also have tiny blood vessels around their borders. Also, if you notice a scar-like mark on your skin in an area where no injury or trauma has occurred, have it looked at immediately. Sometimes it looks like a translucent bump with a central umbilication or an enlarged pore that suddenly appears.
Squamous cell carcinoma (SCC): This type of skin cancer occurs on the top layer of skin, in sun-exposed areas. It appears as a red, scaling patch that scabs over - unlike a scab, however, these patches don't heal. They may also be covered by a hard white scale.

Early detection is crucial in treating skin cancer. Have annual skin checks, during which your dermatologist can look for any unusual moles or marks (if you have a family history of melanoma or are particularly predisposed to developing it, biannual checks are best). And if you see any suspicious bumps or scabs - particularly those that fit the descriptions above - don't hesitate to see a doctor right away.

Wishing you great skin!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dr. Baumann is author of the best-selling book, "The Skin Type Solution." To learn more about her revolutionary skin typing system, visit her Web site. Many of Dr. Baumann's recommended skin care products are available there, and a portion of proceeds goes to The Dermatology Foundation.

SOURCE: Yahoo Health

Pogi Points

2008-01-29T19:31:00.000-08:00

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawa iian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned __expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes
without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

~~ a repost ~~

Are You Smart?

2008-01-29T19:22:00.000-08:00

You wear thick eyeglasses and carry volumes of books in your arms. Inside your bag is a scientific calculator, a pad of paper, all sorts of pens, photocopied materials and other student gadgets. In your head is nothing but arithmetic and computer programs. You love every figure and formula that your teacher introduces during your Geometry class and the matrices of HTML codes is music to your ears. In other words, you’re a nerd, or close to being one. But does it mean you’re smart?

Some people confuse the meaning of “smart” with the definition of “nerd.” Just because you have a straight-A or a series flat-1, it doesn’t mean you’re a certified smart person. According to the dictionary, a nerd person pursues intellectual activities to improve his knowledge rather than engaging himself in social activities such as sports. He is intelligent, yes, but is socially and physically graceless. Worse is, he is unaware of how awkward he is.

A smart person, on the other hand, is someone who shows mental alertness in appropriate situations. He knows what he is doing and is aware of what other people are thinking of him. When he is in a confounding situation, he can confuse and convince others that he is right through his words and actions. In other words, he knows the way out. What’s more, he has many friends and many others would wish to be his friend.

Perhaps the reason why many people confuse a smarty with a nerdy is because a nerd has more potential to become smart. If you’re a nerd, you don’t try hard to excel in your field or fields of intelligence (e.g., verbal-linguistic, math-logic, spatial, musical, etc) coz it just flows in you naturally, if not habitually. Your intelligence is somewhat innate and enhancing it is as easy as eating peanuts.
For you to become smart, you just need to work on your personality (considering that most nerds seem weird; though they feel they are normal). You have to ask yourself: Am I socially acceptable? Do people feel comfortable with me? Am I comfortable with them? Can I keep a good conversation going? Am I versatile enough to adjust to any situation? If your answer to these is yes, without biases, then you must be smart.

To be smart, one doesn’t have to excel in all intelligence areas and brag about it. He just needs to foster the areas he is strong at and randomly learns, as life teaches him the other fields. And since he is smart, he is not a second-rate-trying-hard-copycat. He talks and acts smart naturally. He may have doubts at the back of his mind but he knows how to control his subconscious level.

Most achievers, be it academic or non-academic, are said to be of high intelligence quotient (IQ). They are those who belong to the top three in section A classes and reap medals at the end of the school year. They are usually the thinker, the leader, and the
frontliner. They are the popular, the trusted and the pride of the institution. In short, they are not necessarily nerdy but are smarty because they managed to balance both curricular and extra-curricular activities. However, that doesn’t mean that those at the backstage aren’t smart.

Perhaps you, or the person next to you, are one of the smarty pants out there who avoids the limelight and prefers to keep their smartness to themselves (that isn’t so smart though). Here’s a quiz from allthetests.com that can help determine how smart or how mentally-alert you are. Take time to assess yourself and see if the result boosts up or knocks down your confidence. Get a pen now and write down your answers.

Is there a Fourth of July in England?
1. Yes
2. No

How many birthdays does the average man have?
1. 1
2. 2
3. 3

Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
1. 2
2. 1
3. 3
4. 12

How many outs are there in an inning?
1. 3
2. 4
3. 5
4. 6

Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister?
1. Yes
2. No

Divide 30 by ½ and add 10. What is the answer?
1. 25
2. 35
3. 60
4. 70

If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
1. 1
2. 2
3. 3

A doctor gives three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills
last?
1. 90
2. 60
3. 30

A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
1. 17
2. 0
3. 9
4. 8

How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
1. 1
2. 2
3. millions
4. 0

How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
1. 24
2. 12
3. 6
4. 2

Before you read on, review your answers (you don’t want to regret it later). Now cross your fingers and check your answers.

(a) Yes, it comes after the third of July!

(a) Just one.

(d) 12. All months have 28 days!

(d) 6, three per side!

(b) No because he is dead!

(d) 70 (30 divided by ½ equals 60! Takes some thinking…)

(b) 2. You took them, remember?

(b) 60 (Start with 1^st pill; 30 minutes later you take the 2^nd pill; after another 30 minutes, you take the 3^rd one).

(d) 0. Moses didn’t have an ark, Noah did!

(b) 12. There are twelve 2 cent stamps in a dozen.

Now is the moment of truth. Count your scores and refer below for the equivalence. If you scored:

0 = Well, what can I say? Your score looks like an egg.

1 = No comment.

2 – 4 = Maybe you’re good at something else…

5 – 7 = You have normal intelligence.

8 = You must be an honor student.

9 – 11 = This is not the first time you took the test!

The result may be flattering or painful to you but I’m sure it’s worth taking. Now you must have realized that it’s always good to be smart (especially if you scored 8 and above). Everybody wants to be smart but not all have the moral fiber to transform themselves. Work it out. Talk smart. Act smart. Here are some tips to smarten up your personality:

Analyze the situation you’re in.

Close your mouth and open your ears. Talk when spoken to; don’t lie.

Do not talk about personal life.

Read good books.

Learn math. Solve puzzles.

Do not brag. Eat a bit of humble pie.

Listen carefully to others’ opinion. You don’t have to agree; just listen.

Be nice to people. It’s also a sign of maturity and intelligence.

Do things on purpose. Avoid nonsense stuff.

Keep a good hygiene. Brush, bathe and wash daily!

Don’t annoy others on purpose.

Work on your vocabulary.

Speak your mind.

Fail rather than cheat. Have some integrity.

Be friends with smart people who do all of the above.

And one last thing, list down all the tips above in your organizer and practice one tip at a time. Before you realize it, you’re smarter than you think! And because you’re smart, you acknowledge the fact that you cannot always conquer the world with your intelligence (like a smart aleck). Remember, some things in this world are still uncertain and that the world itself could snub you if necessary, regardless of
how smart you are.

Sources: http://www.wikihow.com/, http://www.paulstips.com/, http://www.allthetests.com/, http://wordnet.princeton.edu, and http://en.wikipedia.org